How to Write a Wedding Toast (Or Use an AI Song Instead)

The Wedding Toast: Everyone’s Nightmare, Your Opportunity

You’ve been asked to give a toast. Congrats! Also: terrifying.

Standing in front of everyone who matters to the couple, microphone in hand, expected to be funny AND heartfelt AND brief? No pressure.

But here’s the good news: wedding toasts have a formula. Follow it, and you’ll be the person everyone talks about—in a good way.

The Basic Wedding Toast Structure

Every great toast follows roughly this pattern:

1. Introduction (15 seconds)
2. Your relationship to the couple (30 seconds)
3. Story or observation (1-2 minutes)
4. What you love about them (30 seconds)
5. Message to the couple (30 seconds)
6. The toast itself (15 seconds)

Total time: 3-4 minutes. That’s it. Nobody wants a 15-minute monologue.

What to Include in Your Toast

For the Best Man

Talk about:

• How you know the groom
• What kind of person he is (with story to prove it)
• When you knew he’d found “the one”
• What the partner has brought to his life
• Your wishes for their future

One good story: A moment that captures who he is—ideally something the partner has now experienced too.

For the Maid of Honor

Talk about:

• Your history with the bride
• What makes her special (specific, not generic)
• How she talked about her partner when they started dating
• The change you’ve seen in her
• Your hopes for their marriage

One good story: A moment that shows her character—bonus if it connects to why she and her partner work.

For Parents

Talk about:

• Watching your child grow
• The moment you knew this partner was special
• What you wish for them
• The love you have for both of them

Keep it: Heartfelt but not too long. You’ll cry. That’s okay.

What to Avoid in a Wedding Toast

Never Mention

• Exes - Not even as a joke. Never.
• Embarrassing secrets - If they’d be mortified, skip it.
• How much you’ve had to drink - Don’t lead with this.
• Inside jokes nobody else gets - Maximum one, with quick context.
• How nervous you are - We can tell. No need to announce it.
• The couple’s fights or problems - Keep it positive.
• Inappropriate stories - Grandma is in the audience.
• How long you’ve worked on this - Just deliver it.

Avoid These Phrases

• “I actually didn’t want to do this”
• “I don’t really know what to say”
• “Is this thing on?”
• “So anyway…”
• “To make a long story short” (after a long story)
• “You all know what I’m talking about”

How to Be Funny (Without Bombing)

Wedding toast humor follows rules:

What Works

• Observational humor about the couple - Things everyone has noticed
• Self-deprecating jokes - Make yourself the target
• Light roasting with affection - Mock something they’d mock themselves about
• Callbacks to things people know - The quirk everyone has witnessed
• Unexpected honesty - “Let’s be real, he called me 47 times after the first date”

What Doesn’t Work

• Generic jokes - “Marriage is like…”
• Mean-spirited roasts - Know the line
• Bits that require explanation - If you have to set it up for 2 minutes, skip it
• Humor at the partner’s expense - You’re welcoming them, not attacking them
• Sexual humor - Parents are present

The Comedy Rule

One or two laughs is enough. You’re giving a toast, not a standup set. Land a genuine moment of humor, then move to the heart.

How to End Strong

The ending matters most. Here’s how to nail it:

The Transition

After your story/observations, pivot to sincerity:

• “But here’s what I really want to say…”
• “All jokes aside…”
• “What I know for certain is…”

The Message

Give them something real:

• What you wish for their marriage
• What you’ve learned from watching them
• Why they give you hope about love
• The specific thing you want them to remember

The Toast Itself

End with a clear call to action:

• “Please raise your glasses…”
• “To [couple names]…”
• “Here’s to…”

Then stop talking. Don’t add more after the toast. End clean.

Alternative: Let Music Say It For You

If public speaking truly terrifies you, there’s another option: a custom song about the couple.

Instead of a speech, play a professionally produced song that tells their story. It covers:

• How they met
• What makes them perfect together
• Your wishes for their future
• Inside jokes the crowd will get

You can introduce it briefly: “I could never say this better than a song, so I made them one instead.”

Create a wedding song →

Sample Toast Structure

Here’s a template:

Opening: “For those who don’t know me, I’m [Name], [relationship to couple]. I’ve known [person] for [time], which means I’ve seen a lot.”

Story: “I remember when [brief, relevant story that captures who they are]. That’s [person] in a nutshell—[quality].”

Pivot to partner: “When [partner] came along, I noticed something change. [Specific observation about how the couple improved each other].”

The heart: “What I love about you two together is [specific thing]. You bring out each other’s [quality], and it’s something beautiful to witness.”

The close: “So here’s to [couple]—may your life together be full of [wish]. Everyone raise your glasses. To [couple]!”

Final Tips

1. Practice out loud - It sounds different spoken than written
2. Time yourself - Stay under 4 minutes
3. Memorize the beginning and end - You can use notes for the middle
4. Look at the couple - Not just the audience
5. Slow down - Nerves make you rush
6. Have water nearby - You’ll need it
7. End clean - Don’t ramble after “cheers”

You’ve got this. One toast, a few minutes, and then you can drink.

Skip the Speech: Create an AI Wedding Song Instead

If public speaking terrifies you, our AI song generator creates custom wedding songs in just 2 minutes. Share the couple’s story, and get a professional-quality song that says everything you wanted to say—without the microphone anxiety.

Create Your AI Wedding Song → — $19.99, ready in minutes

Want to make the toast even more memorable? Create a custom AI song for the couple to play at the reception.